I’ve never been a very religious person. I used to want to believe in it all, I had a Bible from my mum and carried around a big cross (that I first got for my past adoration of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) on top of it, prayed some times at night but after a while, as every other phase I had in my younger years, it passed quite quickly.
When my Nanna died in November last year, my Mum gave me this cross that she (Nanna) used to wear. She was a religious person, though to what extent I’m not sure. She used to play the organ at her chapel every week although to the end she wasn’t able to anymore. Anyway, I ended up with my cross and ever since then I’ve worn it.
Anyway (you’ll see the relevance of that little story in a little while) a couple of months after she left us, perhaps it’d be better to say a few weeks ago (:P) I caught a movie of TV called Dogma. Originally I wanted to watch it because it had a young Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in it, and my were they adorable back the, but then I started watching and realised it had an interesting concept to it.
It’s about two angels, Bartleby (Affleck) and Loki (Damon), who were cast from heaven and have found a loop hole so that they can go back home, the hole being that they could pass under an arch in a cathedral and be atoned of all sins, become mortal, and hence, when they day, be allowed back to God’s side. However, as things are never that easy, by doing so they would prove that God was wrong about one thing and hence end all of existence, so a descendent (I’m not sure whether that’s the term. She’s the great great… niece) of Jesus was called upon to stop them.
But getting back to the point I originally intended. Loki was an angel that God called upon to pass judgement on people and punish them accordingly, although Loki always seemed just happy to kill them :P. On his way to the place that would allow them back into heaven they took a stop at a business meeting where Loki decided he was going to pass some final judgement for God before being atoned. Among the gathered there were many horrible people, molesters, fraudsters etc, and then one women who had never done wrong but because she hadn’t said Bless You when Loki sneezed, he wanted to kill her too (and would have if Bartleby hadn’t stopped him).
Although it was a comedic film and most likely this scene had much comedic value, it changed something in me. I try to do the best I can nowadays, and coupling this with my decision to be the nicest person I was capable of (I promised my Nanna after she dies because, well… she was the most amazing, kind person I knew), I’ve become more religious. The cross I was talking about earlier, I don’t only see it as a way for my Nanna to be with me anymore, but as a connection to God and perhaps a way for me to become ‘clean’, please my Nanna, and help in my way to be a nice person just like she was.